Sunday, 26th May 2013
Most of the week has been spent fine tuning the new SAA website and responding to email regarding it. I have issued over 40 new Logins and reminded another 43 of their 'forgotten' passwords. A sign of an ageing population.
Feedback received so far has been very positive and this one, from Toff Idrus, sums it up. "It's lookin' good Normie...well done mate...looking much more with it and the pull downs are smooth. Just s couple of observations mate...but the website is looking pretty 'dope' mate."
Work has now started on the replacement for The Log, it is turning out a bit more complicated than the SAA site as the new software gives me less flexibility. but worth the effort. The software I was using is past its use by date.
So not much more to say about for now, time to go back to the new log for a few hours.
Between web duties I have been helping a neighbour build a deck onto his house. I thought my handyman skills were lacking but he makes me look like a tradie. I even showed heaps of bum crack. No smart comments please!
Niggs has not been impressed though, his 'me' time has suffered cobsiderably. I will make it up to him next week.
Poor old neighbour Bill is in the dog house again. He explained that while he was away visiting his brother his wife Jean, being the romantic sort, sent him a text..............
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. love you."
Bill said said he sent the reply......."Am having a Crap. Please advise."
Till next week....
AROUND THE TRAPS
Dave 'Goldie' Horne was discharged and things went fairly well until the pain control wore off. Michael said "Dave was unable to control the pain which I think can best be described as excruciating, in the hospital he had a morphine pump. At about 0100 a call to a 24 hour doctor proved pointless, they could not visit till 0800 the next day. Ringing the 1300 health line was a waste of time, many, many questions then advised we should go to a doctor in the morning. As Dave could not travel in the car again, an ambulance was called and Dave left about 0200 and is now at Cairns Base Hospital. I expect he will be there a few days until things settle down." Dave really has had a bad run, hope things improve mate.
Tom Johnston reports that Graham Collins is recovering OK, he is expected to be in hospital for about a month and then have rehab at Nowra. Tom said "Graham had his back operation on Tuesday, the procedure took nine and a half hours, there was more work than the doctor first thought. The doctor reports that it all went well. I think it will be some time before he is out of pain and back on his feet and walking normal, the doctor says that he will make a good recovery."
Tony Vine has been in Brisbane for a couple days Reserve time. "He said I am just returning home after instructing the Australian Navy Cadets CO/XO Desig course and doing a safety audit on cadet activity. It was great to see a couple of submariners still involved, Warren "Bear" Humphries, the CO of TS Canberra and Taff Gwynne, XO TS Noosa. First time Taff and I have caught up in almost 25 years, shame most of the time was taken up with the audit."
SKIer John Rana is home again from his latest trip. "Had a good time in Bali with daughter and grand daughter." At least he is spending some of the inheritance on family.
Last week, after posting that Paul Wilson was a new Member in New Lambton, I received several requests for his email from others in his area. One came from Phil 'Jumper Collins' who wrote. "Would like to get hold of Paul Wilson`s phone number if possible as he lives in the next suburb to me."
Terry 'Titch' Parsons said "So far in Newcastle, the crew is growing, and the following submariners are in contact: Myself, Greg Doods Doodson and Kelvin Athol Guy. Please feel free to pass my details to Paul Wilson of New Lambton so we might all have a catch up." Terry added "I have found a club in Newcastle called the United Services Club and on the wall were most of the O Boats, Dechaineux, Tabard and Trump plaques. If my membership is successful, I would plan a gathering there in the short term. No pokies and historically awesome with a membership of about 75 in total. It was the original Newcastle council chambers I believe." This is what the Log is all about, bringing submariners together. If you want a list of submariners in your area, just ask.
Phil Solomon is the Heartstrings Project Coordinator. Heartstrings Project's aim was to donate Ukuleles to Fijian Schools. Phil said "Thanks to all who contributed to this worthwhile project, we couldn't have done it without you and your generosity. The kids loved it. We are intending to attempt the same thing in 2014 but this time supplying ukuleles to the schools of the Torres Strait Islands. We hope that you will all consider joining us as Partners in 'Heartstrings - The Sequel'." There is a video on YouTube. Phil, I promise to donate, the more Ukuleles we can export the better it is for us all. May even be worth considering exporting the players too, but maybe the Torres Straits is too close?
Bill Podmore wrote "I am still alive in Beautiful, Warm (always) and Exotic (the fruits that is) Bali - spending most of my time eating, drinking, sleeping, travelling a bit to other parts of Indonesia catching up with Expat and Indon friends. Also, keeping me 'on my toes' is the "Mini Mart" business which is doing well under the control of my 'fantastic' Balinese Manager - of course I do not own it!! I am a retiree here!? Not allowed to work.
The renovations to my Villa are
progressing - very slowly, but as one can say: If I do
it all today, what am I going to do tomorrow??!!
Billy, Mr 'fix-it' is still going strong fixing problems with the locals - 'houses'/kid's bikes etc. Am enjoying assisting about five 'young' kids here with their education; books, school uniforms, food parcels (sometimes) and conversation - in English to assist them at school wherever I can.
Am in the process of writing my
'history' here this year so far - will get there soon, I
promise (Indonesian time - or another term, Rubber
From Billy - or Pak Billy Gede Padma, a Balinese name given me by a long term friend from my Staff College days in Jakarta, sooo long ago). DO hope to hear from some of you in due course."
Bruce 'Bruta' McLennan's tour of the wilds continues and he looks like a real "Big White Hunter" in these photos but he should have a virgin holding the umbrella. I had trouble working out which of the four pussies was Bruta (I hope he hadn't killed them).
Mike Bennett wrote "The funeral for our dear departed shipmate, Oppo and bloody good all round bloke took place on Thursday 23rd May at Le Pine Funerals’ in Ferntree Gully Vic and it was well attended; at the last count some 140 people attended, including the presence of people who had travelled long distances to be there – Such and Charlie and Margaret Bonnet, Marilyn Hogue.
The SAA and the
RNA were well represented resulting in an honour guard
of 30 to salute the commencement of Gerry’s final
journey. As expected our Chaplin the Rev Vernon Collins
officiated. Margaret France know lots of you wanted to
attend the funeral but were unable, and was grateful for
your thoughts and apologies.
To sum up I think the words of David Rees (a founder member of the Navy Association Port Philip Branch) best sums up Gerry Frances input to the service organisations to which he belonged “I have a great regard for Gerry and his contribution to the branch right from the start, he always made himself available no matter what. We could do with more of his ilk in our organisations.
David R." Lest We Forget."
Hannah Oxley of County Durham, England wrote:
"I came across this website when I
Googled 'Oxley family crest' and saw the crest on your
website which I recognised. I have this crest
mounted on a wooden plaque, it was given to our family
by some family friends who had it from before we had
known them and discovered it when cleaning their loft.
The family who gave it to us originate from Greenock
where I now know thanks to your website the submarine
was built. I was very happy to learn that it was from an
Australian submarine as I have often wondered why the
crest contains a boomerang. Mystery solved! So I just
wondered if this plaque would be of any interest to
yourselves?" If interested, let
Allan James moved OS last year and I asked him where he was now. He replied "Located at Newark Nottinghamshire and shortly in Vitrac-Saint-Vincent, France." Sounds better than Canberra!
Something to ponder............ This is particularly interesting for those boaties out there! I received an email last night, saying something is not right about that Geraldton boat story. It questioned the veracity of the story that the boat came from Sri Lanka and was 44 days at sea with 66 souls on board. It's questions specifically were:
The journey from Sri Lanka to Geraldton, a distance of 2,780 nautical miles as the crow flies, longer if you allow for drift and course corrections. Lets be kind and estimate 3,000 nautical miles.
The fuel required to travel that distance at an average speed of 6kts would have been at least 5,000 litres. That amount of fuel equates to 25 drums of diesel and would weigh in at (150kg x 25 drums) = 3,750Kg.
Water for 66 people for 44 days at sea (drinking cooking etc) allow 4 ltrs per person per day. (44 days x 66 people x 4ltrs) = 11,616 ltrs and weigh 8,131Kg.
66 people would weigh around about 3,960kg.
Total weight of fuel/water/people close to 15,841Kg plus food/provisions.
The boat in question looked to be about 42 foot long and could not carry enough fuel, water, food and provisions for 66 people at sea for 44 days. Absolutely/absolutely impossible – it would have sunk before it left the dock!!
So the story of travelling Sri Lanka/Geraldton is absolute bullshit, or perhaps they made a stopover in Indonesia or were resupplied en-route. And remember when they pulled into Geraldton they were only half way to their supposed destination – NZ.
Can you help.................
The following request from the Australian Maritime Warfare Centre was received at SUBFOR and passed to me to see what we knew. "I am trying to assist relatives in obtaining historical data/plaques of a Lt Cmdr LeFlay, RN from the HMAS Platypus days. He was instrumental (I believe) in the project to revamp HMAS Platypus and his relatives (daughter, etc) are interested in finding out whether there is any paraphernalia still left describing his achievements.
His name was Lt Cmdr Spencer LeFlay of the Royal Navy and was posted out here from Portsmouth England..."Any advice in doing further searches (or contacts to assist) would be appreciated - a "global" did not come up with anything so far."
Information I have is that he was actually RAN (probably changed over) and he appears in the 1965 RAN Navy List as a LEUT ME. He also commissioned HMAS Platypus as a LEUT.
If you have any more information, please let me know.
Submarine Association Australia NEWS
The Submarines Association Australia website has been revamped
and, although work is ongoing, is now online. It may have some
errors and omissions and I am hoping that your feedback and
suggestions for improvement will help iron out the bugs.
The site can now be reached at two urls http://www.submarinesaustralia.org/ or http://www.submarinesaustralia.com/
The move has been made to make life easier for my new assistant, Carol Wilson. She is building a website so that she can gain some experience before I let her loose on the site, which should not be long.
The Submarines Association Australia now has links to Facebook and LinkedIn and you are all invited to join us. With luck, LinkedIn may help with job opportunities for our members.
And while on the subject of Members of the Association, are you one? Why not join up now, With the Anniversary of RAN Submarines looming now is the time to get involved.
The following new members signed on with the SAA in May 2013;
CMDR Rod Fayle RAN Retired. Served on HMS Ocelot 65-67, HMAS Oxley 67/97, HMAS Onslow 73, HMAS Otway 70/77. Ballina NSW.
Wilson, Paul ex LCA. Served on HMS Oracle 89/90, HMS Superb, 90/94 HMS Torbay 94/00 and HMS Triumph 00/05. Partner Marcie, New Lambton NSW.
Hannigan, Liam ex CPO (R) SM. Served on HMS Explorer (SM3) 60/62, HMS Taciturn (SM4) 63/65, HMS Token (SM1) 65/67, HMS Trump (SM4) 67/69 and HMS Conqueror (SM3) 72/7. Partner Francisca. Woy Woy NSW. (Rejoined)
HMAS Dechaineux, shown hereconducting a security patrol in North West Australian waters, was the only submarine to take part in Exercise BERSAMA SHIELD 2013 conducted on the South China Sea, Singapore and the Malaysian Peninsula in April.
HMAS Dechaineux operated as the enemy or “Red Force” in the exercise which was aimed at testing the responses from participating nations’ navy vessels. The submarine operated in shallow waters amongst high concentrations of fishing vessels conducting simulated attacks on surface ships from Malaysian, Singaporean and New Zealand navies.
sad an inglorious end for a fine ship recently, the
mighty HMS Ark Royal sailed on her final voyage...
heading to a Turkish shipyard to be turned into tin
cans. She was sold to ship recycling firm Leyal for
£2.9m and will be taken 2,000 miles to Turkey.
HMS Ark Royal cost £320million to build in 1981 and served her country for 30 years. Plans to turn the ship into a museum, heliport, nightclub, school or casino fell by the wayside
After more than a quarter of a century of service, the aircraft carrier – the fifth Royal Navy ship to bear a name that dates back to the days of victory over the Spanish Armada – began her final, solemn journey to the scrapyard. She wasn’t even allowed the romantic privilege of sailing into the sunset at the 30 knots she was capable of. Instead, tugs hauled her slowly out of Portsmouth harbour towards her last resting place in Turkey.
The ultimate indignity is still to come. Soon, she will be broken up and recycled to make razor blades and tin cans.
No wonder former crewmen wore black armbands on the dockside. No wonder there were more tears than cheers from the hundreds who gathered, like mourners, to say their farewells.
Top links of the week
Watch Astronaut Chris Hadfield sing David Bowie's Space Oddity. Makes you want to go outer space!
The latest edition of Navy News is online now.
HMCS Bonaventure Launch Video. Great for all you frustrated birdies and those that served on HMAS Melbourne.
The following are results from an
OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take
an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and
supply a witty definition. Clearly, you need to be an
Aussie to understand.
Billabonk: To make passionate love beside a waterhole
Bludgie: A partner who doesn't work, but is kept as a pet
Dodgeridoo: A fake indigenous artefact
Fair drinkum: Good-quality Aussie wine
Flatypus: A cat that has been run over by a vehicle
Mateshit: All your flat mate's belongings, lying strewn around the floor
Shagman: An unemployed male, roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity
Yabble: The unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans
Bushwanker: A pretentious drongo, who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub.
And for the Kiwis amongst us - Shornbag: A particularly attractive naked sheep
Come on Niggs, time for play!
Sunday, 19th May 2013
The weather has been great this week but unfortunately I have been cooped up all week working on a new look SAA website. I am happy with the look and feel of the new site and hope to have it online for launch at the AGM.
Had to light the fire for the first time last night but forgot to do 'start up' checks. The baffle was loose and fell into the fireplace, not a big job, but there is soot everywhere.
Niggs is a dad again, 6 beautiful copies of him, 4 have already been allocated. He keeps going down to check up on them and is doing his share of the work. Like most dads the novelty will soon wear off.
Boot Hatfield sobered up long enough to demonstrate that the lessons he has been taking at backward reading class are taking effect..... "Bung, reading Up Periscope – yes some greenies can read, you said you were “Installing water tanks and plumbing with a mate” I can understand some of Niggs’ mates coming around – he has something to offer, but where did you find one? Or was it, as you suggested further down the page, a rent-a-mate situation??"
I must work on my image.... Milly Milburn was cruising down the Bruce Highway and decided to deter through Bauple. Not having my address he asked an old resident if "he knew where an old cranky ex sailor lived?" What is more annoying than Milly using such libelous language is the fact that the old bastard knew who he meant and directed Milly to my place. Enjoyed a nice chat, always good to see an old face again.
Had a beer with bill the neighbour at lunchtime today
and he was hung over. He said
"Went out last night and got
really wasted because the wife was back on the warpath
again. She was up for making a sex movie, and all I did
was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.. I
woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick
who was snoring, so I knew I made it home OK!"
I decided to leave Bill and go and go to the Men's Shed and the farmer across the road was there and he was distressed. I asked what was up and he replied "My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off." He said he confessed to his wife which depressed them both so they decided to commit suicide but strangely enough, once she killed herself, he started to feel a lot better. He said "So I thought, stuff it, soldier on!”
I thought that someone there was in a happier mood and
was glad to see the school bus driver arrive with a
smile on his face. I said you look pleased with
yourself and he replied with a grin
"My wife has been after me for
several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally,
I got around to doing it while Julie was out.
After finishing, I left to take care of another matter
before she returned.
When she came home she went to the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry clear epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts, wrapped a sheet around hers and drove her to the hospital emergency room. The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her. She tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."
The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them... I just never saw one mounted and framed."
Till next week....
AROUND THE TRAPS
Dave 'Goldie' Horne has suffered from some setbacks after his recent operation. He is still at the Mater Hospital in Townsville and is thinking he is coming home Monday but Michael thinks that may not the the case. Your messages of support really lifted his spirits and he thanks all that contacted him. Goldie has his mobile phone with him so you can call him directly on 0409 897 119.
Tim Everard, on hearing of Gerry France's death, wrote "So very sad to hear about Gerry, he was my chef in Oxley and a very cheerful chap. When in Newcastle in a late night club he hopped on a table and stripped off while singing “This old hat of mine”, unfortunately the club was frequented by off duty cops and so they scooped him up as he got to the end and took him away!!!" Cooks and Stokers, can't take them anywhere............... Photo of Fred Bottrell and Gerry at a branch meeting.
The Western Port Oberon Association is unveiling the Concept Plans for the Victorian Maritime Centre Project on the 7th June 2013 at Hastings. It is hoped that this is a sign that progress is being made on the final resting place of Otama.
Ian Hill sent this photograph of a 2-man torpedo (or SLC "Maiale" torpedoes) taken at Taormina, Sicily when Ian and Melinda toured the island in April 2013.
Received an email from Paul Wilson of New Lambton NSW he had just been to the SAA meeting in Sydney and has asked for an Application. Paul spent 14 years in the RN, paying of as a POCA. Always good to see potential new members, we need them.
Peter Hogg is a member of the Royal NZ Naval Association and edits a fortnightly newsletter called 'ON DECK' which is sent to many readers around the world with an interest in current and past items of naval news. If you would like to be placed on his distribution list contact Peter.
Tom Johnson wrote "I too look forward to Sunday night and reading "The Log". Being an old stoker I have no idea how to use Facebook or any of that stuff. I am only capable with emails and adding attachments and that's only just. We take off on Friday 24 heading to Adelaide to board the Ghan to Alice Springs for a week, on the train to Darwin and then fly to Townsville, sorry we wont catch up at Subcon." Rumour has it that Tom bought Laurie a hamster skin coat for the trip. Took her to the fair last week, and it took him 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
Tom continued "Spoke to Graham Collins today, he goes into hospital next Monday for a major back operation, will come out with added wire and steel in the back, other than that he is doing well."
Bruce 'Bruta' McLennan reports "Grabbed a promo flight from Manila last week and at the moment in northern Thailand awaiting a visa to cross into Burma was last there in 1980 and then you could only get a 7 day visa."
A school inspector is sent to assess a Year 4 class in a
local New South Wales State School... He is introduced
to the class by the teacher.
She says to the class, "Let's show the inspector just how clever you are by allowing him to ask you a question".
The inspector reasons that normally class starts with
religious instruction, so he will ask a biblical
He asks: "Class, who broke down the walls of Jericho ?" For a full minute there is absolute silence. Eventually, little Billy raises his hand.
Billy stands up and replies: "Sir, I do not know who broke down the walls of Jericho , but I can assure you it wasn't me".
Of course the inspector is shocked by the answer and the lack of knowledge of the famous bible story and he looks at the teacher for an explanation.
Realising that he is perturbed, the teacher says: "Well, I've known Billy since the start of the year, and I believe that if he says that he didn't do it then he didn't do it".
The inspector is even more shocked at this and storms down to the principal's office and tells him what happened, to which the principal replies: "I don't know the boy, but I believe his teacher. If she feels that the boy is innocent, then he must be innocent".
The inspector can't believe what he is hearing. He grabs the phone on the principal's desk and in a rage, dials Julia Gillard and rattles off the entire occurrence to her and asks her what she thinks of the education standard in the State.
The PM sighs heavily and replies: "I don't know the boy, the teacher or the principal, and never heard of the school, but just get three quotes and have the bloody wall fixed!!"
Submarine Association Australia NEWS
A decision has been made that confirms the Branch will be having a party on 3rd August 2013, a great opportunity to say farewell to our outgoing President of the past 5 years. Yes, the Dinner Dance will go ahead.
The cost is $140 a couple or $70 for a single and Food,
Beer, Wine or Soft Drinks and Entertainment is all included in
this price. The Band we have this year is “The Chevrolets”
and they are very good at providing music and entertainment for
a fun evening
Everyone is welcome and that includes your friends. Bring them along and make a fun table at this biennial party. If you have never been to one of our gatherings before this is an ideal time to get to know us and enjoy the company of your fellow submariners and their partners.
Full details available on the branch website.
The details on the ballot arrangements for Australians planning to attend Anzac Day commemorations in Gallipoli on 25 April 2015 have been released.
Following the agreement of the Turkish Government, the Government had previously announced that the places will be shared between Australian and NZ (8,000 Australians, 2,000 New Zealanders) and up to 500 places have been set aside for official representatives and guests, including representatives of all countries that served in the Gallipoli campaign.
Some of the places available to Australians will be
reserved for special representatives including:
• Widows of Australian First World War veterans – they do not need to participate in the ballot and will be included as part of Australia’s official representatives, with a companion, if fit to travel.
• Five per cent of places allocated in the ballot will be reserved for Australian direct descendants of veterans of the Gallipoli campaign – with preference being given to the sons and daughters of Gallipoli veterans.
• Five per cent of places in the ballot will be reserved for veterans who have qualifying service or who have deployed on any operations outside Australia, whether they are warlike, non-warlike or peacetime operations.
• Five per cent of places will be set aside outside the ballot process for representative secondary school children and their chaperones, to be allocated and managed through the states and territories.
The remaining places (3,000 double passes) will be available for all Australians. For more information on ballot arrangements visit DVA information page.
Australian Defence News
Australia and Sweden have reached agreement on transfer of submarine intellectual property as a key step in maintaining existing Collins submarines and building their replacements. This followed extensive negotiations between Australia's Defence Materiel Organisation and the Swedish Defence Materiel Administration. This would pave the way for Swedish involvement in Australia's Future Submarine Program and also assist Australia with the ongoing sustainment of the six Collins class submarines.
This agreement gives effect to Australia's rights to use and disclose Swedish Intellectual Property rights for complex submarine design and technology. In 1987, Australia ordered six submarines of the Collins Class from a design by Swedish firm Kockums AB. The Collins subs, constructed in Adelaide, will remain in service for another 20 years. Australia is now planning for their replacement with 12 new boats with the recent Defence White Paper settling on two options - an evolution of Collins or a completely new design.
The government announced last year it would engage Kockums to undertake initial design studies for the evolved Collins. An evolved design would build on high level of capabilities of the existing Collins design, address known deficiencies and obsolescence issues and provide potential capability improvements. But before that could occur, Australian needed to reach agreement with Sweden on use of Collins and other Swedish technology for the Future Submarine Program.
The Republic of Singapore Navy (RSN)'s Chief of Navy Rear-Admiral Ng Chee Peng signed the Submarine Rescue Arrangement with Royal Australian Navy (RAN)'s Chief of Navy Vice-Admiral Ray Griggs this week.
The agreement was signed on board the RSN's submarine rescue and support vessel, MV Swift Rescue. The arrangement establishes a framework between the RSN and RAN in the area of submarine rescue support and cooperation. Under the arrangement, the RSN will make available to the RAN MV Swift Rescue and other resources to render support and assistance in the event of an RAN submarine incident.
Defence said that the Submarine Rescue Arrangement reaffirms the close and long-standing bilateral defence relationship between Singapore and Australia, where both armed forces interact frequently through exercises, visits, professional exchanges and military courses.
The latest edition of 'All Round Look' - the newsletter of the Submarine Institute of Australia is now available. If you are interested in receiving the newsletter register here.
Lloyd Blake is working on the Submarine Centenary 1914-2014 for the Institute and makes an appeal for help from members. "2014's celebration will include a book " A Century of Silent Service - Australia's Submariners ". The book has a people focus. Need a few photos please - Submariners in the boat (clothes on !) or in uniform on the casing. Seeking good quality high resolution jpeg colour photos for consideration in the book." Contact Lloyd on 0439943230. Check out the SUBS100 website.
Links of the week......
John Culnane wrote "I thought you’d look good walking through Bauple in your 'Onsies' with Niggs… I rather fancy the Purple one, or is it ‘Puce’…" I can only note that these are available on an RN site, no more needs to be said! Mind you, ideal for trot sentries.
Definitely worth listening to and taking heed by all those who don't understand what our current government is doing to our nation. Wake up Australia you and yours are the victims of irresponsible management of your futures. Although the message is to Americans it is just as relevant to Australia. Worth a look.
Can you help......
Richard Townley-Jones is trying to find the whereabouts of Peter Sheehan. The contact details held by the SAA are out of date. If you are in contact with Peter can you let him know or contact me.
Eight thoughts to ponder...
|Number 8||Life is sexually transmitted.|
|Number 7||Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.|
|Number 6||Men have 2 emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, feed him.|
|Number 5||Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.|
|Number 4||Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.|
|Number 3||All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.|
|Number 2||In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.|
|Number 1||Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers - what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.|
And as someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
Come on Niggs, we have work to do!
Sunday, 12th May 2013
The feedback on the new site for the SM Centenary (http://aussubs100.com) has been positive and with luck I shall make more progress next week. The Blog has had positive results, Paul Meakin posted a comment "I have the Dit Book from Otway's Motor Room circa 1975/6. Would the Otway Museum like to have it ??" Message passed to Roger Cooper for action.
The revised SAA website is well under way and will be ready for launching at the AGM in Townsville. Both Carol Wilson and I are in the process of learning new site development tools but it is worth the effort, the result will be a lot more modern, crisp and to the point.
Niggs has been bored this week, I have been tied up to the computer and with installing new water tanks and plumbing with a mate and he has not had much playtime. Made up for it yesterday though, took him to the beach for a swim. I expected him to repay me with breakfast in bed for Mum's Day, but I'm still waiting.
I am not racist but would suggest that our elected leaders pay attention to the advice of Vladimir Putin. On February 4th, 2013, Vladimir Putin addressed the Duma, (Russian Parliament), and gave a speech about the tensions with minorities in Russia: "In Russia live Russians. Any minority, from anywhere, if it wants to live in Russia, to work and eat in Russia, should speak Russian, and should respect the Russian laws. If they prefer Shari ‘a Law, then we advise them to go to those places where that's the state law. Russia does not need minorities. Minorities need Russia, and we will not grant them special privileges, or try to change our laws to fit their desires, no matter how loud they yell 'discrimination'. We better learn from the suicides of America, England, Holland and France, if we are to survive as a nation. The Russian customs and traditions are not compatible with the lack of culture or the primitive ways of many minorities. When this honourable legislative body thinks of creating new laws, it should have in mind the national interest first, observing that the minorities are not Russians." The politicians in the Duma gave Putin a standing ovation for five minutes.
Neighbour Bill and I were chatting over a beer and he explained he was in the dog house again. Apparently, after a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, he woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely. He was silly enough to tell his missus!!!
Till next week....
AROUND THE TRAPS
Rumour has it that Graham 'Jumper' Collins is having a major operation in two weeks. Thinking of you mate.
Dave 'Goldie' Horne had spinal surgery yesterday at the Mater Hospital in Townsville. The surgery went well and was quicker than anticipated, but still took all day. Dave is in Intensive care until Monday and then goes into a ward. Goldie expects to be in Townsville for a week or so.
Noel Lowrie reports "Just returned from Penang where Susan And I attended the ANZAC Day service in Georgetown. It was very well done with over 200 in attendance, including a serving RN submariner, a uniformed guard proved by the Kiwi airforce, a Chaplain from the RAN and about 50 Uniformed members of Australian and NZ services. Also members of the Malaysian Ex. Services in their retired dress. The gunfire breakfast was at the all ranks mess in Georgetown. A very moving service in a foreign country."
Leslie Birch posted an article on Facebook from The Sun-Herald Sunday May 12th 2013 on 'Major General Neville Donohue', the same man I wrote about last week. Leslie said "This fool has made it to the big time now."
The RAN Facebook page posted an item on HMAS Dechaineux which conducted a port visit to Singapore where she was berthed at Sembawang, on the northern coast of the island. As part of a funded initiative commenced by Fleet Command a number of years ago, the submarine took the opportunity to conduct some cultural tours of the island to acquaint better with some of the local highlights. On this visit, HMAS Dechaineux conducted a battlefields tour of Singapore to see some of the Australian World War II historic sites and to see how the advance of Japanese Forces across the island occurred. The six hour tour crossed the island in it's entirety and included a local lunch and visit to Changi Chapel Memorial. The tour also underpinned the knowledge of the crew of some of the activities that took place leading to the creation of the Kranji Cemetery where HMAS Dechaineux participated in Anzac Day ceremonies on 25 April.
Following her recent Mid Cycle Docking conducted at ASC Henderson, Western Australia, HMAS Waller successfully completed a Dive Inclination Trial in the vicinity of Diamantina Wharf to confirm the overall balance and stability of the submarine.
Veronica Taylor of After School Care Programs, located in El Paso County Colorado, is group of tutors that provide kids and teens the adult mentoring they need to succeed. Veronica wrote "I just wanted to say that, as a peer mentor, I've been using your link page for a maritime history project that I'm helping one of my kids with. Thanks for making it; it's been helpful!" Good to see that we could help.
It was good to see ASC has added 43 new apprentices to its submarine maintenance and shipbuilding business, making its apprenticeship program one of the largest in South Australia. ASC Managing Director and Chief Executive Officer, Mr Steve Ludlam, said the new intake brings ASC’s total number of apprentices to 130. Far to few companies are committed to developing skill and talent in our workforce.
Can you help......
A Victorian member reports that the company he is currently working for is now in the hands of receivers and about to be wound up, so with that in mind he asked "Any job vacancies in the vicinity of Lara please keep this slightly fat, bald little late 40's bloke in mind. I will sell body, not too cheap though, have starving family to feed)." If you know of anything please contact me.
Ken Grierson is participating in The Ride to Conquer Cancer, a 2-day, 200km cycling event that raises funds for cancer research and treatment. Money raised from this event will help the Flinders Medical Centre Foundation support the vital work of the researchers and clinicians based in the Flinders Centre for Innovation in Cancer (FCIC). The FCIC is a world leading cancer centre focused on the science of cancer prevention, improved patient care and survivorship research.
Ken said "I will be raising funds and training hard so I can make a huge impact in the fight to conquer cancer - but I need your help. Please make a donation to my fundraising account today. You can do this by going to this link then enter my name (First name: – ken, Last Name: – Grierson) and click the Search button."
"Cancer is something that has touched all of our lives in some measure. It's my goal to put a stop to that and The Ride is how I am doing my part. That's why I am so passionate about raising funds. Any donation that you can give is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for your generosity!"
Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
Links of the week......
Tribute to the Australian Sailor Centenary Monument is an exciting project in Western Australia and the site is worth a visit. Follow this link.
Bruta McLennan sent this link to youtube with the comment "She sounds like she could really use some coke right about now."
Paul Dickson posted this video in Facebook that I am sure many of us can relate to.
Mike Shepherd sent me a SCAMwatch (a government website, worth subscribing) email alert warning about booking your winter getaway. SCAMwatch has received reports that scammers continue to target would-be travellers with holiday rental accommodation scams and advises would-be travellers to be on guard and do their homework when considering any holiday rental offer. Be cautious – if the price looks too good to be true, it probably is. Do your homework – contact the company directly using contact details you sourced independently through a phone book or online search.
Submarine Association Australia NEWS
The Victoria Branch will visit Geelong next Sunday (19th May) for a social meeting. We will be visiting Osborne House at 1100 then on to the Belmont RSL for lunch. Members and guests are encouraged to attend.
Let me know if you can you make it so I can confirm requirements with the RSL.
New South Wales Branch
The Branch will meet next Sunday (19th May) for a social drink and general meeting at th City of Sydney RSL. Members and guests are encouraged to attend.
NSW Branch Secretary
Western Australia Branch
WA Branch Members are reminded that the US Submariners Memorial Service, it's 71st Anniversary will be held at the Princess Royal Fortress Military Museum in Albany on Sunday 26 May 2013.
Please join our American and ex British Submariners for the
This Memorial Service is a tribute to the United States Submariners who operated from the Port of Albany during the World War II. It recognises the bravery of the Submariners who battled war. This service is to honour their memory and all are welcome to attend. Venue: 'Still on Patrol' Memorial Princess Royal Fortress Military Museum, Mt Adelaide, Albany.
Accommodation is available at the Le Grande Motel where a formal dinner will be held on the Saturday Evening. The phone number is 08 9841 3600. Link to the Le Grande Motel Website http://www.legrande.com.au/site/
Please let me know by Wednesday 22 May if attending so dinner bookings can be made and the Albany Shire can be advised of numbers attending.
WA Branch Secretary
0412 3143 61
The lack of attendance at Branch
Meetings and events is a major concern of the
Association and Members are encouraged to attend at
least one meeting or function a year. And why not
invite an oppo to join you? Graham 'Spider' Webb
sent this suggestion for consideration and has been
passed to the Committee.
"In one of your recent emails you mention something along the lines that we often say it would be good to catch up with old shipmates etc, and then in your last Log you reproduced an email you received from one of us, which outlines how much he looks forward to the Log each week. The writer of that email also mentions that he "is not very good at keeping in touch with old shipmates or participating at Submarine Vets activities".
I can say that
I fit into this category as well, and I would imagine
there are many of us sort of 'silent' members.
Personally, I have only in the past few years
'connected' with the submarine community after what is
fast approaching 40 years ! ( I cannot hardly believe
that as I typed it !! FORTY BLOODY YEARS !). I am pretty
sure I can also say on behalf of all 'silent' members
that we too really look forward to the Sunday Log !
Norm, I was wondering if it would be a good idea that whenever there is a 'get together' for whatever reason, Monthly meetings, Subcon, BBQ's, the Centenary Celebration etc, even the dinner dance coming up in Brisbane - is it possible to have a list of names who have committed to attend ? I am sure this would haul more people along to these events if they knew some of the guys attending. They may be old mates. Many of the guys may not attend because they 'don't feel comfortable' with a crowd of people they don't know (the old 'safety in numbers' theory !)
An example of this is the Subcon this year. I have never been to one of these events, and I was really disappointed to find out that the guys that I had closest to me, particularly in my early days were not attending for some reason or another. So in my case I feel that I probably 'won't know anyone' ......if you get my gist. It has been a long time and I have forgotten more than I remember. There may be other guys there that I would love to catch up with after all these years - and that goes for the 'email writer'.
As an example - the Brisbane dinner dance. There even may be guys in Brisbane at that time on holidays, and they would not attend (like the writer of that email to you) because he does not feel comfortable around people he does not know. There may be some good old shipmate friends of his attending he would have no idea. Do you see my point ?
It could be used as a 'motivator' to get them off their arses. And if they enjoy the function it would be a lot easier to get members along to these functions, and they would probably then bring a mate as well (the old 'word of mouth theory' !!) I am not too sure, but there may already be 'lists' of people attending events. If there are I have never sighted them."
I understand where Spider is coming from, I hate being at functions where I do not know (or like?) those attending. However, it is hard to get commitment from members, I am speaking from experience. For it to work the members would need to be more communicative, most branches try hard to promulgate and promote events, it is the members that are letting the side down. Another solution that is much easier (and productive) is to get one of your oppos to come with you (rent-a-friend) and this would serve two purposes - increase attendance and give you someone to talk to.
Forget Newton and Galileo. Here are the real laws of nature:
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an
open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a
floor, are directly correlated to the newness
and cost of the carpet or rug.
Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands
become coated with grease, your nose will begin
to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Come on Niggs, dinner time!
Eternal Patrol - ex CPOERA Brian Toogood
SAA Victoria branch member Brian Toogood passed away in his sleep at 0300 on Friday morning.
Brian served on HMS Scorcher, HMS Andrew, HMS Telemachus
and HMS Grampus.
Our thoughts go out to his wife Pat and family.
Funeral details - The funeral will be held on Monday 13th May at 1430 at the Le Pine Funeral Parlour, cnr. McDonald and Barkley Streets, Mordialloc (Melway ref. 87 F12).
Sunday, 5th May 2013
The website being developed for the Centenary of Australian Submarines can now be viewed at http://aussubs100.com. The site attempts to bring together all of the information available in a combined site but is only temporary, it will go offline once an official site is developed. This is 'a work in progress' and I need feedback with suggestions and pointing out errors or omissions. SAA branches and other organisations have been asked to provide anything that they have planned for the centenary and want included. All areas will be beefed up as I progress and get more information. I am trying not to step on toes but people keep asking what is planned for 2014.
I received an email this week that
answered the question I often ask "Is it time to pay off
The Log?" "G'Day Norm,
it's late at night but I just felt the need to say "Thankyou".
I know that the Chief's Log is a big chore and takes up
a lot of your time that I'm sure you can find a better
But I'd just like to say that I wait each week for it
and it makes my day to see all the news and views from
real people .... Submariners. Every time you feel like giving it away, just ask how
many people appreciate it, then think again ... no
I'm not real good at keeping in touch with old mates,
and I'm not real good at participating in Submarine Vets
activities, but I do love to hear about what's
happening, how old Shipmates are doing, where people
are, and how everyone is fairing in life.
That's all I have to say about that. Thank you for
your efforts and time mate."
I get regular calls and email from visitors to the Log with a similar message, usually when I am considering if it time to quit, and I decide to carry on a little bit longer. The growing use of Facebook may eventually take over for most submariners, but not those with taste or intelligence (ie Stokers and Cooks).
On Thursday I went with my neighbour Bill to court in Gympie to show support from a Bauple local who had been charged with double homicide. The judge said to the defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"
The judge continued, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yelled out again, "You rotten bastard!"
The judge stopped and said to Paddy in the back of the courtroom. "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?" Paddy stood up and said, "I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that arsehole, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
Till next week....
AROUND THE TRAPS
Hartridge was a bit late with his ANZAC Day report, jet
lag maybe? "LCDR Guy Burton, his
wife Chris, and myself managed to catch up at the
Australian War Memorial at Hyde Park in London for the
Service commencing at 0500 hours. A nice Service that
was also attended by HRH Prince Michael of Kent. The
weather was pleasant enough for us, but a tad cold for
my liking. We had breakfast after then headed on our
Paul added "I headed up to Liverpool and after seeing The Beatles museum, I caught up with Pedro and his band of merry men of the Merseyside Submariners Branch. Of course they were pleased to see me (wink) and I was presented with a certificate and made an Associate Member. After 40 hours of being awake, I managed to get some sleep, I felt like crap the next day but I think that was the rum they poured into me, not the sleep. I then wearily made my way back to Brighton were I am staying with relatives for another 2 weeks before I head over to the USA for a month taking part in a motorbike rally, Rolling Thunder, in which the estimate is of 800,000 to 1 million riders taking part. This is a one day event in Washington DC... after that I then carry on with the approx 4,000km ride. I am hiring a Harley Davidson Softail and am certainly looking forward to this experience."
Warren Goodall attended the ANZAC March at his local bowling club. He said "I went to the bar for the free tot and beer (medal wearers got free drinks all day) when the barman noticed my Dolphins. "Oh look" he calls, "a pommy submariner". He took a while to convince that mine were well and truly earned on Aussie boats and that despite my birth rite, I was not a RNer. He must have been a not too bright ex-skimmer."
Captain Tim Brown CSC, RAN was guest speaker at Holbrook on ANZAC Day and said "It was a great day! I must admit, when I was walking through Otway's Wardroom with the Able Seaman from Albatross, and realised it had been 20 years since I was MEO, I felt a bit like the 'old rooster'! I hear it will be a big event there next year?"
HMAS Dechaineux berthed at Sepanggar in the Western Sabah province of Malaysia on 1 May for the first visit of an Australian submarine to this port. The aim of the visit is to continue the Royal Australian Navy's relationship with the Royal Malaysian Navy who also home port their submarines at this facility. During the visit HMAS Dechaineux will participate in a range of activities with their Malaysian counterparts as well as visiting the sights of Kota Kinabalu which is the principal town in the region.
Dave 'Goldie' Horne is having major spinal surgery at the Mater Hospital, Townsville on Saturday 11th May. They are going to try and straighten previous spinal fusions. Goldie expects to be there for about a week before returning home to Cairns.
Beware, Raymond Kemp is coming to a town near you.... "Capacity test conducted on van batteries, after 18 hours still had 2 volts too drop so stopped as it was time to hit the sack. That was with all likes, fans and TV on. Therefore unable to calibrate ISCMMS. Will attempt again in 2 weeks when in Sydney on the way to Townsville. Conducting ORE now have 5 days at Wilpena Pound, 8 hours from getting up, hitching up and having a beer not bad I think. Looks like my batteries have more capacity than a Collins battery, will have no problems free camping on the way North.
Peter Smith reports that he will be off the air for a while "I have had surgery on my right shoulder and I am right handed. So I am typing this with a left finger and making balls up of it thank God for spell check. Hope to be in full contact in a few weeks."
I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to
live forever" I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that, try something else.
"Fine" I said, "I don't want to die until Julia Gillard is re-elected as Prime Minister".
"You're a shifty little bastard, aren't you?" said the fairy.
Ray, an old submariner was touring the country in his campervan with his missus and needed urgent medical help so he rang Medibank Private's 24 hour medical service. "Medibank Helpline here. What's the problem?" Ray replied "I'm in the Outback with the missus and she's been stung on her bits by a red back spider and now her vagina has completely closed up!" There was a brief silence and then Ray heard the response "Bummer!". Ray responded "Great advice! I didn't think of that. Thanks mate, bye."
Another visitor to the UK is Garry Coombe "We are soaking up the sun (9 degrees) at Westward Ho! In Devon. Had a few days in Cirencester then travelled to Bath for a day before heading to Taunton in Somerset. Next stop is Trewannack in Cornwall where we are staying in a smugglers cottage for a few days before heading to Plymouth. Sitting in a cafe looking out over a very stony beach and trying to thaw out!" The names played havoc with my spell checker....
LCDR JJ Williams (MSA Kiribati) said Garry Pacino always said "The only reason a submarine exists is to transport the forends to where it is needed most". JJ added "He always was a bit of a philosopher our Gary. He was a bad stepping oppo though, we used to take it in turns carrying him back onboard."
JJ (an ex forendy) also sent a photo of Trevor Milne, Shane Wyatt and him in the forward mess and one of a bunch of ANZAC heroes (Peter Wallen, Shane Wyatt, Gary Pacino, Blue Burns and JJ) manning the tubes.
This week I received to email asking if Brett Ollington was OK, their were rumours that he had gone on eternal Patrol. I checked with him and he responded "The rumours of my death are greatly exaggerated, although I probably have prostate cancer, have to have the biopsy done next month."
Canadian Navy Adopts New Naval Ensign
A new Canadian Naval Ensign is to be worn by Her Majesty’s Canadian Ships, naval vessels, Naval Reserve Divisions, and other designated units starting on Sunday, May 5. A news release said the adoption of a new Canadian Naval Ensign demonstrates a deep attachment to a widespread tradition among navies of the world. The new Canadian Naval Ensign will become the flag under which our Navy will defend Canada’s interests at home and abroad.
Vice-Admiral Paul Maddison, Commander Royal Canadian Navy, said . “We are restoring the use of a standard Commonwealth practice, and an important symbol recognizing our rich naval heritage and the historical roots of the modern Royal Canadian Navy."
This is an historic moment for the Royal Canadian Navy, which flew the White Ensign from 1911 until the adoption of the National Flag in 1965. From that point onward, the National Flag was adopted as both the Ensign and the Jack. In 1968, as part of efforts to emphasize the importance of military ensigns and flags, while also reflecting the new National Flag, a distinctive Naval Jack was adopted by the Canadian Armed Forces.
Today, the flag previously known as the Naval Jack is adopted as the new Canadian Naval Ensign, and the National Flag becomes the new Naval Jack, which mirrors a standard practice amongst Commonwealth nations. The change will most importantly distinguish Canadian warships from other Canadian flagged vessels. It will also promote and strengthen the Canadian naval identity, while underscoring the unique commitment of our men and women at sea who serve as members of the Canadian Armed Forces in Royal Canadian Navy ships and vessels. The new Canadian Naval Ensign will now take rightful prominence as a significant national symbol for years to come.
Submarine Association Australia NEWS
Western Australia Branch
ANZAC Day Started in the West with the WA Patron Commodore Bob Trotter AM RAN Rtd laying a wreath on behalf of the SAA at the Dawn Service in Fremantle.
The WA branch marched in Fremantle with our banner being carried by Submariners followed the State president Sid Czabotar, the National President Darren Thompson, State Patron Commodore Bob Trotter AM RAN Rtd and by 31 members and family marching the streets of Fremantle on a warm and balmy day.
After the march the ANZAC Day service was held on the Esplanade on Marine Parade where the ANZAC Day Address was given by Captain Mark Potter CSC RAN. Joining us this year was Ian Hill (Chippie) who took the opportunity to march with his son Michael (SMNMT) with his buddies in boats from WA. Ian’s son is based at HMAS Stirling and Ian had travelled from Yass NSW to meet his new granddaughter.
We also welcomed into our ranks two new members Toff Idris and Bruce Newton who marched for the first time as SAA members.
At the completion of the March we all retired to the Fremantle Rosie O'Grady’s where our members joined serving Submariners and the Submariners Association (Australia Branch) for a few inviting ales and lunch which included our obligatory Rum raffle which was one by a Submarine Part 3 Sailor.
CPOCISSM Darren Thompson (Nat Pres SAA), Dale Titch Turner, Philip Hoskins, Ian Hill and SMNMT Michael Hill enjoy a drink at Rosie O’Grady’s. More photos in Album.
A reminder that a cut off date of 15th May 2013 to let us know if they are coming to the Dinner Dance. On this date a decision will be made to go ahead with the function or not. Full details and payment options are available on our website.
An Emergency Call Centre worker in Brisbane has been dismissed from her job, much to the dismay of colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her treatment. It seems a male caller dialled 999 from a mobile phone stating, "I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah." Apparently "Remain calm and stay on the line" was not considered to be an appropriate or correct response...
We have another ‘wannabee hero’ … we need to find out his name. This photo was taken at the MCG on ANZAC Day. At a Victorian Anzac Day service 'Major General Neville Donohue' reflected on the Anzac and Australian spirit.
Defence White Paper 2013
8.46 Due to the strategic value and importance of Australia’s submarine capability, the Government remains committed to replacing the existing Collins Class fleet with an expanded fleet of 12 conventionalsubmarines that will meet Australia’s future strategic requirements. The future submarines will be assembled in South Australia. The Government has ruled out consideration of a nuclear powered submarine capability to replace the Collins Class fleet.
8.47 The Future Submarine Program is a capability design, construction and sustainment challenge of unprecedented scale and complexity, and will span decades. Implementation will require a sustained and coordinated national effort. The Program will harness the knowledge, skills, expertise and lessons learned over the last 50 years of Australian submarine ownership. Engagement and collaboration with relevant Commonwealth and State Agencies and authorities and our strategic partners during all stages of the program, along with suitable Australian industrial capacity, will be critical to success. In particular, the Government intends to continue close cooperation with the United States on developing undersea warfare capabilities.
8.48 Since 2009, the Government has approved expenditure of over $200 million to fund design, modelling, analysis and technology studies to examine in detail options for the future submarine capability.
8.49 The Government has directed further work on a new Submarine Propulsion Energy Support and Integration Facility in Australia. This land-based facility will substantially reduce risk in the Future Submarine Program by providing the capability to research, integrate, assemble and test the propulsion, energy and drive train systems in all stages of the Future Submarine’s design, build and through-life sustainment.
8.50 The Government has also taken the important decision to suspend further investigation of the two Future Submarine options based on military-off-the-shelf designs in favour of focusing resources on progressing an ‘evolved Collins’ and new design options that are likely to best meet Australia’s future strategic and capability requirements. Australian industry and skilled workforce aspects of the Future Submarine Program are discussed in Chapter Twelve.
8.51 The first Collins Class submarine was commissioned in 1996, and the last in 2003. When they were commissioned, they had a planned operational life of 28 years. In 2012, an evaluation of the service life of the Collins was completed, which found that the Collins Class operational service could be extended for one full operating cycle – some seven years excluding a period of formal deep maintenance.
8.52 The Future Submarine Program will build on Australia’s experience with the Collins Class. Guided by outcomes of the Study into the Business of Sustaining Australia’s Strategic Collins Class Submarine Capability, led by Mr John Coles, an extensive transformation program is being implemented to increase submarine availability to benchmark levels by 2017. Availability improvements are being achieved through a variety of mechanisms including the delivery of more efficient logistic supportarrangements, implementation of performance based maintenance contracts with defence industry, and development of a revised approach to the programming of planned maintenance. Defence is establishing the long-term support arrangements necessary to ensure the Collins fleet will remain a viable submarine capability until replaced by the Future Submarine.
Interesting Links of the Week...................
Can you help?
Ian Pfennigwerth needs your help.
"I've had plenty of submarines at the end of my sonar
beam, or that of a cooperating aircraft, and gone through the launch procedure
to drop a nice homing present on your tails, but we were never allowed to push
the red button. Submarines, however, are allowed, once in a while, to pretend to
carry out an attack on a static, stopped and completely helpless hulk and blow
it up. This is proof that the system works, we are told. That's as close to the
real thing as throwing a line into the Fishermen Co-op and pulling out a fish is
However, I am now asking for your help. I'm writing a book that is going to highlight the honours and awards won by all RAN people since1900, in peace and war, and I'm including submariners - or I would like to. My problem is that the schedule for collecting the stories behind the awards is running out and the submariners, in particular, are not cooperating in telling them to me. So, your award recipients will get their names in the index and not much else but the bare abbreviated citation in the text. I'm sure you don't want that, and nor do I.
This situation applies to recent awards over the past 25 years: we've already sussed out the WW1 and WW2 submariners and their most impressive deeds of gallantry and daring, and I'm not just talking about AE-2.
I've approached three different RAN submarine organisations for zilch response. (interesting that there are so many). For such a bunch of blowhards who are always rabbiting on about how crash hot you are, you're remarkably quiet when it comes to relating the real acts of gallantry and of sheer hard work that have generated real honours and awards, and not just sunken trophy hulks. Of course, this does require somebody to get off their bum and do some work. Maybe that's the problem.
I've got lists of names and citations ready to send to anybody who will help me flesh out the bare bones stories.
Are you ready to help?"
Let's get behind Ian, send him an email or call 02 4981 5551
I have just come in from sitting on the verandah with neighbour Bill, he had been into Brisbane and seemed pissed off and asked if everything was OK. He replied "I went to the Australian Patent office to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented."
"I said, 'a
folding bottle'. She said, "Okay, what do you call
it?" to which I replied 'A Fottle.'
"What else do you have." she asked to which I replied "a folding carton."
Again she said, "what do you call it?" 'A Farton.' She sniggered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."
Bill looked at me and said "I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket."
Come on Niggs, we have work to do!